1. Morgan Actually Killing People
What a relief it is to witness Morgan take someone else’s life! Following the TED Talk he used to shoo the Wolves out of Alexandria (and straight to Rick’s RV), it was oddly invigorating to watch him shove a spear into someone’s neck. We know, this is the bottom of the barrel for him and he has to grow this episode but it’s SIGNIFICANTLY better when he does what’s necessary and breaks necks.
2. Call of Duty: Morgan Warfare
Wow, old Morgan really doesn’t care! It’s OK Morgan, we know you’ve forgotten how to meet someone without immediately CLEARING them, but this guy has a cabin and isn’t trying to kill you! HE EVEN MENTIONED FALAFELS. Unfortunately for Morgan, he probably can’t see past the blurry stroke vision and thought he saw a ten-foot tall purple cyclops. Whatever, just leave Tabitha alone!
3. Morgan Gets Jailed
If this weren’t the apocalypse, Morgan would have been committed to crazy town on the hill YEARS ago. Of COURSE it’s tragic to lose your wife and kid, but Rick and the gang lost WAY more and are mostly fine, right? RIGHT?! ANYWAY, if you walked around Target yelling I HAVE TO CLEAR you’d be tackled and bound. Maybe some time behind bars will do Morgan some good…
4. Eastman Left the Cell Open
Time behind bars did Morgan zero good. He tried everything he could to escape…except checking the cell door. I’ve never been to prison but isn’t that the first thing you try?? Man, Eastman is trusting! He caged a maniac who says he’ll kill him the second he gets out and then leaves the door UNLOCKED. And you know what Morgan does to repay him??
5. Morgan Attacks Eastman!
Hey Morgan, remember that time in Game of Thrones when Oberyn thought he could take The Mountain and ended up getting his head popped like a balloon? (Spoiler). No? Well it’s one of 10 billion examples that fighting a dude twice your size who hasn’t even taught you how to fight is a BAD IDEA. (Though at least Morgan can say he got in a prison fight).
By the way Morgan doesn’t win this fight either:
Probably because this ALSO didn’t work out:
6. Eastman’s Horrific Backstory
Eastman’s backstory is so dark it could be a Disney movie. Basically, Eastman counseled an evil prison inmate that was hellbent on destroying his life. Sticking to his word, Crighton Dallas Wilton got out of prison and murdered Eastman’s family. It’s always the guys with three names that’ll get you, isn’t it? John Wilkes Booth, John Wayne Gacy, Bryce Dallas Howard…SPEAKING of killer clowns, check out Eastman in American Horror Story:
7. The Blatant Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Karate Kid References
With Glenn gone, Walking Dead fans needed something human or otherwise to cling to. Although Morgan gradually becomes more likable, we weren’t surprised to see all the fan empathy REDIRECTED towards Tabitha the goat. Tabitha doesn’t ask for a lot in this world; she eats, poops, and occasionally does screaming remixes of Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, it’s SUPER easy for walkers to get to her and she eventually gets eaten because THERE’S NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD. RIP Tabitha, tell Buttons the Horse we say hello.
9. Eastman Gets Bit
This was completely avoidable. Morgan and Eastman are approached by a familiar walker. Two on one seems like a pretty easy task, right? So Morgan zoned out for a second, it happens! People wake up in the middle of the night and remember they left the stove on. For Morgan, HE remembered he should have stabbed that guy in the head before he turned. Whoops! What are the chances that the one walker he dealt with earlier finds him in the woods? Well, very high! And you know what, Eastman SAVES Morgan for the 37th time this episode WITH HIS BACK to block the walker. THEN HE GETS BITTEN, MORGAN. YOU HEAR THAT?? How does Morgan repay him? The only way Morgan knows how: IMMEDIATELY attack him, get his ass kicked, and then beg for death. But you came so far, Morgan! Don’t throw it all away now!
Honorable Crazy Moment Mention: Eastman DID kill that Crighton guy (I doubt HIS cell was open) and (presumably) had Morgan kill him as he waited to turn.
DAMN IT MORGAN, LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE:
10. Morgan Still Doesn’t Kill This Guy
Practicing what you preach is always a good motto…until you’ve met this guy. Remember when Eastman said he’s only met one truly evil person in the world? HERE’S NUMBUH TWO. Listen, Morgan’s Aikido training has obviously been tantamount to his return to sanity…but when a guy who just murdered a bunch of people tells you he’s about to murder MORE people, you can play judge, jury, and executioner! This guy has the teeth of a meth addict and the charm of a school shooter. But telling him your remarkable revival story unfortunately won’t help. If killing him goes against your new creed, why not just casually mention to Carol there’s a surprise for her in the other room? We don’t want him to revert to crazy Morgan either; but maybe he can have a cheat day.