1. Rick Going Solo

If this is a Ricktatorship then who needs democracy? You can always trust Rick to quickly judge a situation and react accordingly. He knows the Alexandrians are worthless and that occasionally he’s going to have to put the team on his back and ’07 LeBron his way to success. So it wasn’t so crazy that he went solo, it’s crazy what HAPPENED when he did. He ran like 12 miles, took out a walker WITh THE MACHETE THAT WAS IN THE WALKER’S HEAD, ran 12 more miles, and took the RV. Is anyone else getting a Mel Gibson from The Patriot vibe here? There should be a fad diet based on how he lives his life!

2. David Getting Bitten

Semi-useful Alexandrian David WAS pretty useful/not a complete moron until he got bit by a walker. But it’s totally OK…to him.

“Is it bad?” NO IT LOOKS FINE DAVID.
“I know what this means…………we have to keep moving.” No, WE have to keep moving. YOU need to stay here and donate your body to the Walker Distraction Association (WDA is a great charity, by the way).

Classic David! Ignorance really IS bliss! This enormous disgusting walker bite doesn’t mean we move on, it means we have to kill you! Stop letting him walk down the road, Michonne! Literally a dead man walking. I know you have a sop story about your wife, but she’s not even your pre-apocalypse wife! She’ll be fine, dude.

3. Sturgess Gets Ate

You pessimistic, weak, floppy hat-wearing chump. First of all, who names their kid Sturgess?! ANYWAY…here’s his accomplishments this episode:

1. Bitch about absolutely everything.
2. Shoot Scott, not the walkers, in the leg
3. Run away
4. Lose his hat
5. Get ate

Miss you, we will not.

Nicholas’ Reaction:

Everyone in the world’s reaction:

4. Glenn and Nicholas’ Plan

What is this plan? How many people does it take to burn down a building? I know, Glenn wants to save Maggie from the hundreds of walkers meandering over to Alexandria yadda yadda. Very noble, man. But who’s expendable, here? Why not let Scott and Nicholas figure it out? This obviously a suicide mission. This makes the Doolittle Raid seem like a walk in the park.

5. There were zero zombie pets

I know zombie animals don’t exist, but THEY SHOULD. How much better would that scene have been if instead of Heath complaining the gang had to battle undead snakes and goldfish?? I know this isn’t “10 Craziest Moments that SHOULD HAVE Happened,” but I make the rules here and I think the scene could use some pet cemetery action, ok??

6. Michonne Vs. Everybody

Advice to characters in future episodes: Rick’s group doesn’t care about your #AlexandrianWorldProblems and Heath is no different. Sorry Dr. Dre, but Michonne is straight outta f**ks to give and doesn’t have time to hear you bitch about your difficult supply runs. She ALSO doesn’t have time for the pet store walkers. Michonne really shined this episode and showed that Rick’s group WOULD have to go ’89 Jordan when it came to protecting the Alexandrians.

7. David/Everyone else Getting Eaten

Can’t remember the names of the Alexandrians? No problem! Most of them have gotten killed off in the last two episodes. David wasn’t bad though, I liked David until he started talking all that “Is it bad?” mess. Still, no one deserves to get eaten through a gate (which is a horrific version of Soulja Boy’s Kiss Me Thru The Phone). Dashiell Driscoll from Funny or Die mentioned that if he were getting eaten by walkers through a fence he’d appreciate it if his friends would put him out of his misery instead of just standing there. We totally agree. Come on Michonne, Heath, and Scott! At least grab the note he wrote to his wife!

8. Nicholas’ Suicide

CONGRATULATIONS, NICHOLAS. Just when we were starting to like you you go and shoot yourself off the dumpster (taking Glenn down with you)! We get it, you were going in and out of emotional strokes throughout the episode, but you couldn’t have offed yourself in the corner? What about that fence RIGHT NEXT TO THE DUMPSTER…you couldn’t have hopped over and done it there/escaped instead?? What about crowd surfing?? OR: you could go full Titanic and let Glenn use you as a floating door and wait for safety. I’ll never let go Nick!

Also…that wasn’t the only time he’s been in that kind of situation. He was also in that Sundance show Rectify:

Mind: blown. (Too soon)?

9. Glenn!!!!!!

I know, this should be the first moment we mentioned. BUT HOLY SH** what a terrible mission this was. Did they even burn anything down? Wasn’t that their one goal? Also, your fan theories are hilarious. You should all audition for the next season of Homeland.
To best sum up how crazy this moment was…here’s this fan reaction compilation we put together of people watching THAT scene. It’s going to be OK, guys.

10. Rick Killing Those Wolves

TWD fans were so shocked by that Glenn scene they might have forgotten how BADASS Rick was at the end of the episode. Like, he took out half a dozen Wolves with one hand, a machine gun, and American adrenaline. Can we also say he ran a half marathon throughout the episode?? NOW, he’s in a dead RV surrounded by walkers. Will he get out of it?? PROBABLY.